Lets begin our study in the book of Matthew and discover why we have rebellious children. And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death. (Matthew 10:21). Are these rebellious warnings of the end times, or present day experiences of the average family in our society? Lets not take this so literally. The death spoken of in this bible verse is speaking of a spiritual death through deception. Those family members that have been deceived by false teachings will be the ones that deliver other family members to antichrist at his return. Believing he is the real Christ, they will think they are helping their friends and family, but will really be introducing them to the false messiah. Satan himself pretending to be Christ comes first and a spiritual death will follow. So, what is the cause and where do these false teachings come from? Turn to the book of Ephesians.
Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: (Ephesians 2:2). So it is Satan's spirit that is here now and working not only in adults, but in his favorite victims... Our children!
Knowing this, who is the blame and what do we do? Here is where the tough love comes in. One thing that rebellious children and teens must understand is that they are not alone and are not the blame. Every parent out there has been rebellious one time or another when they were growing up. It is in our nature, whether a parent wants to admit it or not. The main cause of a rebellious child or teen is in their upbringing. I know that no parent wants to hear this, but if we do not face up to it and do something about it, we will never change the problem. To put it mildly, we spoil the hell out of them. We as parents strive to give our children everything they want rather than what they need. They need sound advice, guidance and discipline when they are growing up much more than material things. But, if we do not do it Gods way, then we are doing it according to the worlds way. Then we are giving in to "the prince of the power of the air" which is Satan's way.
Why are we as parents so afraid to discipline our children? We are all children of God and when we mess up he corrects us. We should follow the same example with our children and teens. And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. (Hebrews 12:5-11). Chastisement is good and is necessary to help develop a loving, respectful productive child. One who can have the guidance of the Holy Spirit and our Heavenly Father throughout their childhood, teen and adult years. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4). We must also try not to irritate our children, but rather bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. This is so important in today's world. Without the help of the Lord our children have no chance.
As for children and teens, you must do your part also. Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:1-3). As a child or teen, the more you obey and respect your parents as they try to raise you in the Lord, the better things will go for you today and in the future. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12). As a teen you can set the example for others to follow. You can follow the world, or you can let the world follow you. "The choice is yours." I know temptation is tough in the world today, but you can handle it. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13). Temptation is no greater today than it has been since the beginning of time. Our Heavenly Father is fair and when you are tempted he will not let any temptation come upon you that He feels you cannot handle and he will always give you a way out.
So what's next and what does the parent do with a rebellious teen or young adult? Some teens and young adults seem like they are totally out of control and will never come around. In many cases this is true... All we can do as parents, or family is repent and pray for them. You can be sure that if we messed up being a little to easy with our children, that the world has a way of waking them up when the time is right. No parent wants it to happen this way, but at times we just need to let them learn the hard way. "Some of you did... Didn't you?" I will be the first to admit that I was a rebellious teen and learned many things the hard way. Hell, I'm still a rebel, but with a better cause. Now I'm apart of God's army and with no regrets. Bottom line, no one can tell you how to raise your children. This is totally up to you and the Heavenly Father.
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